My friend Tom is going though a divorce and I went with him to divorce court today for moral support. I had to sit on a hard wooden bench for several hours as he waited for his case to be heard.
In the meantime, I got to hear a few divorce cases. The first one involved a Mexican couple who were splitting after 11 years. They didn’t have attorneys. The judge heard them present their cases and then divided up their marital property. They didn’t have much: a 2000 Silverado, a 1995 van, and a corn cart worth $2,000.
You’re probably asking, “What’s a corn cart?”
At first, I thought they were talking about a “corn card” or something that sounded like that. The wife said that the corn card cost $4,000 new. Now, it has depreciated to about half that value.
Then, the husband described how he was the one who sold corn using the corn card. He fills it up with corn and fruit and sells the items on the street. He’s a street vendor. Ah, ha! A corn cart!
I Googled it. They do call them corn carts. Who knew?
Anyway, the judge did a little rough justice. The Silverado was worth $3,000. The van was sold by the wife as junk for $100. The corn cart was worth $2,000. The husband got the Silverado and the corn cart and was ordered to pay the wife $2,450 ($5,000 minus $50 for his half of the junked van).
After several of these cases involving marital assets of $5,000 or less, my friend was finally called to settle his divorce. Unfortunately, his case involves assets in excess of $3 million. So, it wasn’t concluded quite as easily. He’s got to go back to court in November.
Angie and I will most likely get a do-it-yourself divorce. We have talked a great deal about it, and have come to an agreement as far as who gets what. We also get along together very well, so there also shouldn't be any resentment or animosity.
I would absolutely HATE discussing my personal life like that in front of a judge etc.
The last time I was in court, I had to represent myself against my ex-wife's lawyer. I was simply out of money. The last bit of business was about her lawyer petitioning for ME to pay his fees (they always do that). I told the judge that my ex should have to pay her own attorney fees for dragging me in front of the court on yet another frivolous issue. When the judge asked me why I shouldn't have to pay, I said, "Because this woman has sucked the marrow from my bones for the past 13 years and I think it's appropriate that she pay the full price for the acrimony that she apparently has no intention to cease." When the judge agreed and awarded the attorney no fees, the other people in the courtroom cheered. The a-hole attorney looked like he was going to have a stroke. Best day of my life.