Palin bows out!

McCain announces new running mate!

Embattled vice pres­id­en­ti­al candidate Sarah Palin announced today thay she is with­draw­ing from the race in order to address personal family issues. This comes one day after an in­vest­ig­a­tion into the firing of a sub­or­d­in­ate resulted in Palin being found guilty of abusing her power as governor of Alaska.

Shortly after Palin’s an­n­oun­ce­ment, John McCain appeared on stage at a rally in Davenport, Iowa with his new running mate, current Miss Hotlanta Amanda Hug­ginkiss. Hug­ginkiss stood next to McCain wearing a tiara and ball gown and then addressed the startled crowd.

“Thank you U.S. Americans! I per­son­ally believe that I am able to be your next vice president and so forth because, uh, some people out there in our nation are ter­ror­ists, and, uh, I believe that ter­ror­ists like such as in Iraq and Iran and, uh, the Middle East ever­y­where like, such as those places and I believe that they should, the great John McCain can help the U.S., er, should help the world democracy and should help the Iraq and the other countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our children.”

Then, McCain took the mi­cro­phone away from Hug­ginkiss and asked, “She’s something? Heh? I real winner. Heh? Let’s hear it for Amanda Hug­ginkiss! Heh?”